What happens in your first EMDR sessions, and how does it feel?

In short

Your first EMDR sessions usually involve no eye movements at all. You and your practitioner talk about what brought you in, agree on goals and practise ways to calm yourself. Memory work starts when you both feel ready: you briefly hold a memory in mind during short sets of eye movements, taps or tones, and can stop anytime.

Booking a first EMDR appointment can feel like a big step. Many people picture lying back while someone waves a hand in front of their face and the worst day of their life replays at full volume. The reality is slower and more ordinary than that. Your first sessions are mostly talking and learning, and you stay in charge of the pace the whole way through.

Here is what usually happens, stage by stage: the first conversation, the preparation work, setting up a memory, what a set of eye movements feels like, and how sessions end. If you want the formal eight-phase outline, our post on why EMDR is widely used for trauma recovery lists every phase.

Before you book: choosing an EMDR practitioner

The most useful thing to check before booking is that the person has specific EMDR training and that you feel comfortable with them. EMDR is a method used by counsellors, psychologists and other mental health professionals, not a separate profession. So look at two things: the practitioner's own credential and their EMDR training.

In BC, psychologists are regulated by the College of Health and Care Professionals of BC. Counsellors are not regulated by a provincial college. RCC is a designation of the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors, and CCC is a certification of the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association. Our guide to RCC and CCC counsellor credentials in BC explains what those letters mean.

For EMDR itself, some practitioners have completed basic EMDR training, and some have gone on to certification or accreditation with an EMDR association. EMDR UK describes its accredited therapists as people who have shown their experience and competence under the supervision of an EMDR consultant (EMDR UK Association, FAQs). It is fine to ask a practitioner what training they have and how often they use EMDR.

Fit matters as much as paperwork. The EMDR International Association (EMDRIA) says a main goal of the early sessions is a relationship of trust, because the therapy depends on you reporting honestly what you notice (EMDRIA, "Experiencing EMDR Therapy"). If you don't feel you can tell someone "that didn't help", it is worth trying someone else.

Your first appointment: mostly a conversation

Your first EMDR appointment is mainly a conversation about you, your history and what you want to change. EMDR UK says that when you first meet, your therapist will spend time getting to know your history, including the distress you are dealing with, any physical health problems and the support you have, and will decide with you whether EMDR is suitable. You can ask questions and raise concerns at any point.

You do not have to tell the whole story. EMDRIA says one unusual feature of EMDR is that you don't have to discuss disturbing memories in detail. Its example: when asked about an event that made them feel worthless, a person might say only "It was something my brother did to me", and that is enough for the therapist to work with.

What helps to bring or think about:

• What brought you in now. A recent trigger, a pattern you keep noticing, sleep, relationships, work.
• What you would like to feel or do differently. "Drive past that intersection without my heart racing" is a useful goal.
• Your health and medication. Mention any eye problems, seizure history or other health conditions, and any medication you take. Don't stop or change medication on your own. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about any medication questions.

Preparation: learning ways to steady yourself

The preparation stage teaches you skills to calm yourself down, and it comes before any memory work. EMDRIA says the therapist will teach specific techniques so you can deal with emotional disturbance that comes up during or after a session, and will explain how EMDR works and what to expect. EMDR UK lists examples such as "safe place" exercises, guided visualization, deep muscle relaxation and breathing retraining.

This stage can feel almost too gentle if you came in ready to "get to the trauma", but it matters. You are practising how to move from upset to calmer on purpose, so that when a memory feels strong later, you already have a way back. EMDRIA notes that some people, especially those with a very traumatized background, need more time here. Taking longer is not a sign that you are doing it wrong.

You will usually also agree on a stop signal, such as raising a hand. EMDRIA says the client has complete control to stop the therapist at any point.

Setting up a memory to work on

Once you both feel ready, your practitioner helps you pick one memory and break it into a few parts. EMDRIA describes the steps:

1. A picture. An image or moment that stands for the memory.
2. A negative belief. A short statement about yourself that the memory carries, such as "I am helpless" or "I am in danger", even if you know logically it isn't true now.
3. A positive belief. What you would rather believe, such as "I am safe now" or "I can handle this".
4. Two ratings. How true the positive belief feels, on a scale from 1 (completely false) to 7 (completely true), and how disturbing the memory feels right now, from 0 (no disturbance) to 10 (the worst).
5. Feelings and body sensations. What emotions come up, and where you notice them, such as tight shoulders or a knot in your stomach.

These ratings give you and your practitioner a way to track change over time without having to put everything into words.

What a set of eye movements actually feels like

A processing set is short: you hold the memory in mind while following a back-and-forth movement or sound, then you stop and say what you noticed. The US National Center for PTSD describes following your provider's moving finger, a light, or a tone that beeps in one ear at a time, for about 30 seconds, then talking about what the exercise was like (National Center for PTSD, "EMDR for PTSD"). Some practitioners use a light bar, headphones with alternating sounds, or gentle taps on your hands or small buzzers you hold, according to EMDR UK.

After each set, your practitioner will ask something like "What do you notice now?" EMDR UK says there are no right or wrong answers. You simply report what is there. People describe many different things:

• The image shifting, getting blurrier or further away.
• A different memory popping up that seems connected.
• A body sensation moving or easing.
• A new thought, such as "I was just a kid".
• Nothing much at all for a set or two.

EMDR UK notes that the event can feel quite intense at first and that the distress usually reduces as the memory is processed. You are awake and in control throughout. EMDR is not hypnosis, and it can't be done against your will. If a set feels like too much, use your stop signal. Your practitioner can slow down, change the type of movement, or switch to a calming exercise.

How sessions end, and the days after

Every session ends with time to settle, so that you leave steadier than when processing stopped. EMDRIA calls this phase closure and says it ends every session. If a memory isn't finished, your practitioner helps you use calming techniques to regain your balance before you go. EMDRIA also says you will be told what to expect between sessions, for example that some processing may continue and new material may come up.

EMDR UK describes this as "momentum". You might think about the memory more for a day or two, recall details you had forgotten, or dream more. It suggests avoiding anything too stressful straight after a session, such as an exam or a long drive. If you are heading home on Highway 1 between Abbotsford and Chilliwack, a few quiet minutes in the car before you leave can help. There is no formal homework in EMDR, but it is worth jotting down anything that comes up so you can mention it next time. Our post on EMDR side effects and who may need to wait covers the after-effects in more detail and when to call your practitioner.

The next session usually opens with a check-in on how things went and whether the memory you worked on feels any different.

How long will EMDR take?

How long EMDR takes depends on your history and goals, so there is no standard number of sessions. EMDRIA says that speed is not the goal of therapy and that every client has different needs. One person may need longer to build trust and calming skills, while another moves quickly through the early work and then uncovers something more important to work on. Session durations vary, too. Your practitioner will talk this through with you after your first sessions and revisit it as you go.

Booking EMDR at The Healing Oak

You can book EMDR directly at either clinic, and you do not need a doctor's referral to book counselling. In Abbotsford, Susan Doiron, MEd, CCC is a Certified EMDR Therapist, and Jae Yoo, CCC-CCS uses EMDR where it fits. In Chilliwack, Jen Larush, Psychologist is trained in EMDR. Each profile shows whether they are accepting new patients. If you would prefer online sessions, ask when you book. Learn more on our page about EMDR therapy in Abbotsford and Chilliwack.

Fees vary by practitioner. Confirm the fee when you book. MSP generally does not cover private counselling. Many extended health plans do, so check your plan. Direct billing depends on the practitioner. Ask when you book.

This article is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For advice about your situation, talk to a qualified practitioner.

Resources

• Experiencing EMDR Therapy, EMDR International Association
• EMDR for PTSD, US Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD
• Frequently asked questions, EMDR UK Association

FAQs